wow 2008 tomorrow! wishing everyone a happy new year!!! lots love from xinzhu & mic

I always been enjoying girl friends' company. I remember when i was younger whenever im with my 'bunch' we used to tease those boys who think they can get any girls if they use their 'bodily charms'. We are not bullies we are just think 'boys are stupid, throw stones to them' haha and then i grow up a bit more and become a bit more mature and wiser i start to compete with them and feel we are more equal and balanced with each other. My hormone kicked in at the time to help as well haha. I did met some men i could throw a very deep conversation with but just somehow missing that closeness when you with your girl friends. I always think it is probably me, my relationship with men not always be that smooth. Mic says to me i am really girls girl and thats true. To start with. Me and my mum have been very close, i talk about everything and anything to my mum i think she is great person to talk to. Even mic said you and your mums relationship is really envious. And coco i met here been my great friend she brought a lot fun to my life she is a great person to be friend with. I do miss her a lot sometime. You do not make friends everyday. Coco used to say sometimes one true friend of life time is enough, which i agree. People with quality are hard to come by. Last time i was on the phone with my mum i said one of the most difficult things for human being to master is to learn to control ourselves. And to be able to do that you need a degree of self consciousness. Basically you need to know who you really are. My feeling of this is before you could learn yourself you have to learn what is other people like. It is very common sense if i gave you a example. Just say you want to know if you are a very selfish person or not. You have to know what defines selfishness. Once you come cross someone who are selfish and people point out that is selfish you start to gather information and to learn what kind of behavior is defined as selfishness. So then once you or other people show that kind of behavior later on you would be able to conclude that. Thats why i say if someone do not know how to read some other people that person definately have troubles knowing himself. It is been a great week working with people in the hospital, i totally enjoyed it. My surrounding is all nurses patients this and that i felt a bit lost in directions. I contacted coco last time which does bring some of my motivation back to throw my self back to the uni soon. I want to give myself a kick before i am all wrinkled up haha. I love to be a nurse in a management position and also i want to do something different. I enjoy working with charge nurse because she always put me in charge of the whole ward and i do enjoy managing people and the rest of everything and ive been told im up for a pay rise very soon haha.

i will be heading home on chinese new year this feb, just got my annual leave planned and more im taking mic home with me haha, eyeing for the good food and some festival treat wa haha i seriously cannot wait. and coco im def going to have party with and lots more others im going to meet haha cannot wait... im going to join the nhs bank and ditch this agency. and im going to start my driving license cos the hospital i work at is an community hospital which means there is duty to do as district nurse

i sometimes think i have got all the wrong combinations of my personality. what i meant wrong is most of them does not interact good when they are together. just like if you use some drugs together they generate side effect. people told me all the time once you start working you need to be able to adapt i always wonder how it works exactly. thank for god i was educated to have a sensible mind. adapting does not mean you follow the crowd but to know how to control and handle the situation.

peoples attitude divide social class. if you can condense my last two weeks experience into one sentense. thats the one. attitude is like your face it tells who you are and where you belong to. think about the people you ever worked with are they polite or spitting shit (swearing) or very organised or very messy.